What a Pill!: When Your Cat Needs Medication

How to Give Your Cat a Pill in 20 Easy Steps*

1. Sit on sofa. Pick up cat, and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to cat.

2. With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (Be patient.) As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Let go of cat, noticing the direction in which it runs.

3. Pick the pill up off the floor, and get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction in which it runs.

4. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Bring cat back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, and cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open, and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Pry back-leg claws out of your arm. Release cat.

6. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into its mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rod, and get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Royal Doulton figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing repairs.

8. Get spouse to lie on cat, with cat's head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force feline mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw into cat's mouth.

9. Check package label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, and drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage, and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek, and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Discard soiled clothing.

12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor whose car crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine, and bind cat tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, and force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth, followed by large piece of steak. Hold head vertically, and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room, and sit quietly while doctor stitches lacerations to fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new dining table.

15. Get last pill from foil wrap. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with cat, and close the door.

16. Sit on bathroom floor, and wrap towel around Kitty, leaving only its head exposed. Cradle Kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill from counter.

17. Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (the cat's, not yours).

18. Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half-hour, while the pill dissolves.

19. Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash scratches with warm soapy water.

20. Arrange for SPCA to pick up cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

*From Planet Cat, a cat-alog, by Sandra Choron, Harry Choron and Arden Moore. I've included another funny article from this book before. It's really great and I highly recommend it. I'm trying to get the dog version of it, but might have to order it online because I can't find it in stock anywhere!)

Now for the serious instructions....

Muffin and I recorded a little instructional video below about how to give a cat a pill. Keep in mind that Muffin and I have been practicing for a while - she has taken several pills almost every day for the past 3.5 years. We've gotten pretty good at the routine. As you see from the funny instructions above, it can be so difficult that people have made jokes about how impossible it is! Don't get discouraged. You will get better at it and so will your kitty. (Please ignore the little spat Muffin has with Little Man at the end of the video. Muffin doesn't like the other kitties to get too close to her, especially after she has just taken her meds! I promise you she's fine and enjoyed her treats right after this.)



You could also try these other tips if you're having difficulty:

(1) Crush the meds and mix with food. If your vet says it's okay for the type of medicine, you can try crushing the medication and putting it in the cat's food. This has never worked with my cats. I think they can sense that I'm trying to pull a fast one on them and they inevitably turn their noses up at the food - no matter how smelly it is or how much they like the food usually. We also have the problem that we have 4 cats and they all trade plates about 5 times before all the wet food is gone. And now that our cats are very well fed, it's rare for them to finish everything on their plate in one sitting. If it had medication in it, I wouldn't be sure that they had gotten the entire dosage.

(2) Coat with margarine. Coat the pill with margarine to make it go down more smoothly. I've read this online and in books but have never tried it. I would think it would make the pill hard to hold onto, but maybe not. It could also work when using a pill popper.

(3) Use a pill popper. Click here to see a picture of one. This is slightly different from the one we have, but you either put the pill in the grabber at the end of the tube (like the one pictured here) or you put the meds down in the tube (like the one we have) and then put the syringe down in behind them. Then you open the kitty's mouth, put the tube in, and push the syringe to pop them out. We have used this before and when my sister has had to medicate Muffin, she thought this was very helpful (especially since Muffin takes so many and the few small ones could all be given together with the popper we have). I can imagine it would also be helpful for people with larger fingers who have trouble placing the pill onto the cat's tongue. I just don't use it because it feels gentler to just place the meds with my fingers now that we're better at it.

(4) Use pill pockets. These are basically soft kitty treats with a little pocket inside where you can stick the pill. My cats have never gone for these (see #1), but they must work for some people because I hear about them a lot.

(5) Compounding. This is a fancy word for getting the pills made into a liquid form (often one that tastes good to the kitty). If you find it easier to administer liquid medications, you may be able to get the pills compounded. Ask your vet about this. We have done this in the past for Stinky (back when she was semi-feral and I had a much harder time with her), but it is very expensive. Here's a cute article where the woman swears by it (her kitty, Lightning, apparently has the same heart condition that Muffin does): http://www.cathobbyist.com/articles/PillingACat.html.

You have to figure out what works for you and your kitty. It may be frustrating and overwhelming at first, and you'll feel as though you are causing the cat more stress than the medication is worth, but once you both get used to it, it's not so bad and the payoff can be immense. When Muffin first went to the cardiologist and I asked "will she have to take these pills every day for the rest of her life?," they would barely look me in the eye as they told me they weren't sure how much of a life she had left. And here we are years later and she's still having fun and loving life!